Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Pain, pain and more pain...finding peace

How is it that everything can hurt in different ways at the same time?  Throbbing, aching, deep, sore, nagging, stabbing, pressure.  It hurts when I breathe, my ribs hurt, my joints hurt, my shoulders hurt, my back hurts, my eye sockets hurt, the top of my head hurts, my feet hurt, my wrists hurt, my knees hurt, my thighs hurt, my chest hurts, my elbows hurt.  Yes, I mean everything hurts even my organs feel sore.  Sometimes I would love a nice few days of a gentle coma to relax the pain out of me and allow me to rest, no pain, no worries.  I would feel the waves of serenity flow over me allowing myself to enjoy the comfort of quiet.  AHHHHHH!!  I will envision the beach and hear the relaxing waves that is what I do when it get windy at my house.   I pretend I am beach front and the waves are crashing making a beautiful harmony.  Calming, wind smelling fresh, salty, clean.  The lull of the ocean flow, so serene, peaceful.  I am part of something so much bigger than lupus than me, I am part of the beautiful earth.  Enjoying mother nature in all her glory, so impressed with her strength and magnificence.  Now I will be at peace.